Starve.Org White Noise Usenet Archive: "Re: Sunrise 3/3 right this time"

On Sat, 04 Jan 1997 05:36:58 GMT, annew@winshop.com.au (Anne Wright)
wrote:

> Sunrise 3
> The last two years of those dreams started one night when I woke
>up after I heard a key being inserted into the front door of my
>home, where I lived alone. I wondered if it was real.

You mean "physical" ? You exist non-physically. That doesn't make
you not "real". :-)

> I waited in
>doubt as I heard the door close again and heard the footsteps walk
>through the living room and through the passage to the door of my
>room, then walk into my bedroom. I was not quite certain if this was
>real. I was sleeping facing the wall. I heard all the movements
>behind me as this thing, quietly, first got in to bed beside me, lay
>there without moving for a while right behind me, then put his arm
>around my waist and moved right up to me. I lay there silently
>feeling the outline of his body up against me, aware of the bulge of
>his penis, I could hear his breathing, feel the warm breath on my
>hair, smell his breath, which was slightly bad.

Feeling non-physically - clairsentience. Smelling - clairolfactance.

> I lay there
>petrified, waiting for him to make another move, dreading he would make
>another move. He lay silently not making any further movements
>except a little shifting and breathing unevenly like he was restless.
>I was asking myself if this were real or if this was a lucid dream. I
>had not had any of those dreams for thirteen months, and in the past I
>could allways know with certainty, but this was now the most
>confusing one I had had. I told myself that it must be a dream
>because if this was real, he would have not been so content to lay
>there and not make any further move.

Interesting. The "logical" approach. Why not simply attempt to do
something that you could do non-physically but you couldn't do
physically ?

>Eventually, after struggling
>with this doubt for what seemed about five minutes, the dream
>ended, sort of faded away with the usual jolt.

The jolt usually indicates your return into your physical body and
physical focus. It doesn't follow that the experience stopped. Simply
that you stopped being consciously aware of it.

>I knew for certain then, that it was a dream. The sound of reality
>is different. But, it is
>difficult to distinguish when you get caught without warning to know
>that you are hearing a sound because it is very low.
> I got up to check the door just to make sure. By the way the door

Pity you didn't check your non-physical doors. Strange how some people
think about physical protection but not non-physical protection.

>was locked I could tell that it had not come through the door in
>reality.
> There began another episode in my dream life. A more sinister
>one, a more ugly and frightening one.
> They came frequently after that, in the same way, he would unlock

Hardly surprising. If the word gets out that a female is "vulnerable"
then some males will take advantage of the situation. Irrespective of
whether one is talking about a physical vulnerability or a
non-physical one.

>my door and I would hear the footsteps, he would get in beside me,
>In that heightened awareness I heard every movement, He would
>sometimes put its arms around me, sometimes not. I would lay
>there and wait, I did not know what to so. I was too scared to do
>anything. In time when the surprise effect of unlocking my door
>wore off, I would start to hear it already in the bedroom. I puzzled
>as to what to do.

Do you usually call men "it" ?

> Those were the times I feared going to bed at night. No matter
>how I would psych myself up in the daytime to take some action.
>When I was right in the situation, lying there frozen in fear all my

Frozen in fear ? A pretty good way to guarantee fearful astral
experiences. If you have arranged protection against physical
men then why didn't you do this non-physically as well ?

>brave intentions would desert me. After some time I gradually
>started to force myself to turn around and try and go along with the
>situation.

Compliance !? A sure way to ensure a repeat situation IMHO.

> I began to call these particular dreams The Animus Dreams.
>In those two years I estimate that I had about two hundred of these
>events.

Looks like the word really got out ! :-)

Some of the men were probably physically alive as well.

> Lucid dreaming had taken on a different development a more
>hypnogogic quality. Not long after that two year series began, the
>state started just as I was begining to fall asleep. I would first
>hear the twang sound, like a magic wand was passed over my body.
>Then the peculiar sense of being in this highly aware state, where
>the physical body of that state feels lighter, the senses sharper.
>In this state you know you have two bodies, a physical body and an

At least two bodies.

>astral body. One will stay there lying on the bed, the other can move
>around. I remember sometimes feeling concerned that if I move
>and get up I might take the physical body with me, and thereby
>wake up. I could feel sometimes my astral body making the actual
>detachment from the physical body.
> Unlike my readings on out of the body experiences, I was never
>able to look back on my physical body on the bed after I had
>detached.

Not a good idea. Unless one is wanting to wake up. :-)

> After I detached I would enter into a different scene.
>Often it seemed that I stayed in the room, or stayed in the bed
>along with my physical body. But the room itself might be different.
>The bed would be bigger or the room would have other furniture in
>it. I often found myself in a totally different place instantly after
>leaving the body.

Sometimes a past life scene, others a thought-form scene and at
other times a spirit world scene.

> In those two years the first experience of the night would be the
>animus. After that I would hear the magic wand again and there
>would be another and another and so on. But only in that first one of
>each night would I have the man come, the animus. The other
>would allways have a different content. Sometimes the animus
>would be the only experience of the night, if I was too disturbed by
>it to relax.

Having men in your bed *can* be tiring. Irrespective of whether they
are physical or non-physical.

> All these anumus states had a high fear content. Unlike the
>earlier dreams I was not sexually attracted to these male entities,or
>whaever you would call them. They were something like, taking
>home a date that one is not physically attracted to, somehow finding
>oneself in bed with them, lying beside them and not knowing what
>they would do next.

Yep. You meet some strange people non-physically. :-)

> Or being a prostitute newly in the game.

How would you know how such a woman would feel. :-)

Some people remember past lives as prostitutes...... Not
altogether uncommon.

> There was a strong feeling of revulsion, Their breath often stank.
>Their hands were often clammy. They seemed clumsy. And when I
>began to look at them (it took a long time for me to bring myself to
>do that) they were not physically attractive to me. Some looked
>ordinary. The worst ones I found totally repulsive.

Perhaps a mingling between "memories" and "real time" events ?

>I often wondered what this was, coming up from my subconcious. I
>still have not sorted this out in my own mind. I was not sexually
>abused as a child.

You forgot to add "this lifetime" perhaps ?

> I consider my first sexual relationship to be the
>best and most intense. In my early twenties. I did have a number of
>sexual relationships, maybe a total of eight in a space of four years.
>Some had turned slightly unpleasant in that, the sexual side of the
>relationship continued after the attraction had worn off. They may
>have left some residue of unresolved emotions that I now had to
>deal with in this way.

And/or compounded experiences from prior lives.

> I also felt and probably still do, a sense of fear and revulsion for
>men who, were not attractive to me, and who would 'come on' to
>me, or try to push further than I was willing to go.

Sounds like someone who has had this type of experience a
number of times. In this life......and/or others. :-)

> I had a relatively sexually satisfying married life for fifteen
>years from the age of twenty four. Oh, sometimes a little dull, but
>allways pleasant. I do not believe there to be much bad
>emotional residue from that relationship.
> In these animus dreams, I eventually worked up enough courage
>to turn to them and make some contact. They would then want me
>to touch their penis. The first time, I was encouaged by having my
>hand taken by his and placed on an uncircumcised penis. This was
>a suprise to me as it was a long time ago since I had touched an
>uncircumcised penis.
> Strange as it may seem, it was a lot easier for me to touch his
>penis than to look at the face of these entities. For a very long time
>I avoided looking at the face, I often kept my eyes closed.
> That was the hardest fear I had to deal with. In fact when in those
>states, the idea of copulating with them (I won't say making love)
>was easier than looking at them.

If you don't want men in your bed non-physically then why allow them
in ? A more sensible approach would be to learn about, and apply,
proper psychic protection.

> I was usually in such a petrified
>state of fear already, that I was afraid any more shocks would send
>me over the edge. I was afraid of what I would see, Maybe the face
>of a demon.

Maybe. In which case it would probably be a thought-form. Why not
simply dissolve it if that were to happen ? Thought forms can be
created. Thought-forms can be dissolved.

>Or I don't what. I struggled with this for a very long time.

Why struggle. Learning about positive responses might have bee
more productive. :-)

> Once as I was dropping off to sleep I heard a man's voice say
>clearly, "look at the face". That gave me more courage as though
>my struggle was being recognised ( by this wise man in my
>subconcious) and I was being told that it was important that I face
>this fear.

Yep. And do something about it.

> I never really dealt with it to my total satisfaction.

Sounds right. If you had satisfactorilly dealt with this situation you
wouldn't have continued having men call by.

>Mostly it would be a quick glance.
> For a long time I would not even contemplate the idea of a sexual
>act. But as time went on and I did not seem to be getting anywhere,
>I thought more and more that it might resolve the issue. That, that
>might be the reason all this was happening. That there was a need
>for a union with the anima and animus. I consulted with a woman
>who knew something about metaphysics and she advised me to
>proceed in this way.
> Then began my very own private saga of trying to get them to
>mate with me.

Might reduce your fear. Might also encourage "newcomers". :-)

>This was a tough assignment I had set for myself and I was not
>successful.

Hard to have physical sex non-physically !

> I had not counted on their reluctance. Or their seeming inability.
>When they would come to me, and lay down beside me, I would
>pull them on top of me (I never tried to kiss them, that would be too
>much) and try to get them to put their penis in my vagina.
>They would somehow avoid it by getting up and walking away.
>(Which was allways such a relief to me). Maybe there was
>something lacking in my technique.

Nope. You were pointing out to them that they were in a non-physical
body. This would be very confusing for those who were "earthbound"
and didn't even realise they were physically dead.

> Then there was the period of the small penises. A series of men
>came, different faces, but they all had penises of about one inch in
>length. All right I thought, at least they won't hurt. They seemed
>willing enough. But the problem was the penises were too short to
>even reach the entrance.

Probably a combination of real and imaginary situations.

> And so it went on for some time. Until I began to think this was not
>getting anywhere. I abandoned the quest after some months of
>trying and towards the end of those dreams.
> I never had much dialogue with them. There seemed to be a
>reluctance on my part to talk, like it was an effort. Whenever I
>tried to talk to them or ask them questions, like where do you come
>from? Why are you here? I never got a satisfactory reply.

Quite normal if one asks someone who is "earthbound".

> Or I got
>no answer. I would sometimes ask their name, but I would have to
>ask a few times to get an answer. and they would give me a familiar
>name, but I did not know anyone with that name. Once a fat man
>came, got into bed beside me and said a few words of greeting. I
>asked him what his accent was and he said 'Dutch'. I could not get
>him to say anything else, it seemed like he had fallen asleep beside
>me. I put my arms around his huge fat body which was very
>unfamiliar to me because I had never put my arms around a fat
>man on a bed before. That was one time I did not make any further
>overtures to get him to have sex with me.

If he had only known what he was missing...... :-)

> Towards the end and after I gave up my efforts to get them to
>have sex with me, I came to realise that the fear was far less. That
>the feeling of disgust was not so strong and while I never came to
>actually warm towards them I had begun to learn to accept them.
>They no longer frightened me as much.

YOU were creating less fear in other words.

> I asked one where he was going, he did not answer, I told him I
>was coming with him. He jumped out of the window and
>disappeared.

Probably returning to his physical body. :-)

> I stood on the windowstill, uncertain of whether I should jump.
>Afraid of jumping. When I did jump, instead of falling to the ground
>as I had feared, I flew.

A pretty common thing to do when OOB.

> I am free I thought as I soared up into the
>sky looking back down on the countryside below. I can face
>anything now.That was the last dream.
> Two months before the end of those dreams. I had one that was
>different. A short one. A cloud appeared before me. I knew this was
>different, because I was aware that in me was an unusual quality of
>reverence and expectation of something important. Out of the cloud
>came a man. I sat up in the bed. His face somehow came level
>with mine. A strong, handsome face. I held his gaze. There was no
>words spoken. His eyes seemed to posess great wisdom. After some time
> it changed into the face of a hawk.

Tiger faces not okay. Hawk faces are eh ? :-)

>It did not frighten me. In those eyes I believe I saw a promise, a
>promise that He was at the end of my rainbow.

Regards, John.

****************************************************
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