DECEMBER 31, 2007: "Re: Anybody ever heard of this problem? Weather related." (from comp.dcom.modems.cable)

"When in doubt, take out a stick and whack the company with it."

DECEMBER 24, 2007: "Hedgehog FAQ [3/7] - Intro to Hedgehogs as pets" (from rec.pets)

"Play with your new friend as often and as much as you want, keeping in mind that your new hedgie will likely tire quickly, especially if young, so give your new friend a break at times. It will also help to keep the lights low, and not be too loud -- both of which will increase the nervousness of a new hedgehog."

DECEMBER 17, 2007: "Re: Amateur surface collectors...."(from sci.archaeology)

"I am an archaeologist and my dissertation didn't turn over one shovel full of dirt. . . . If someone claims to be an archaeologist and tells you they only deal with things dug up, they are either lying or bad archaeologists. . . . I'm tired of people thinking all archaeologists dig up stones and bones and nothing more."

DECEMBER 10, 2007: "Re: What do YOU call the # sign?" (from alt.usage. english)

"Visibility severely limited by sycamore trees, which were planted as a memorial to WW I dead and therefore can't be removed."

DECEMBER 3, 2007: "Re: VC - Behind The Glory Report" (from alt.sports. basketball.nba.tor-raptors)

"The look on Michelle's face as she said that she would never forgive that man for hurting 'that kid' was priceless. . . . As Vince would comment, he wanted to be a superstar and now he is."

NOVEMBER 26, 2007: "Re: Interview with ACIM Principal William N. Thetford, PhD" (from talk.religion.course-miracle)

"Helen was not pursued by voices. . . . I got a clear message that I was to go to the corner of 78th Street and Fifth Avenue, near where I lived, at exactly 3:15, and the problem would be taken care of. I had enormous resistance to doing this, but I put on my stormy weather gear anyway, walked to the corner, and tried to hail a cab. Since I was in competition with all the doormen on Fifth Avenue it seemed utterly useless. Then for just a moment I closed my eyes and let go of my troubled thoughts, saying to myself: ‘Thank you, Father, it's already done.' And for an instant I truly believed that. When I opened my eyes, a chauffeur driven limousine had stopped right in front of me at the corner and the driver rolled down his window and asked, ‘May I help you sir?' This, as anyone who's been to New York or lived there knows, was a highly improbable happening. I was very tempted to ask him why he had stopped for me, and then I realized that this would be an inappropriate question."

NOVEMBER 19, 2007: "Re: WEST CUMBERLAND TIMES. NOV. 21, 1928. PORTINSCALE MOTOR FATALITY." (from Genealogy-Cumberland@ googlegroups.com)

"If you had such a very bad headlight that it only shone about four yards and it was raining hard, and a strong wind was blowing and you could not see any further, you should have been traveling at less than 10 or 12 miles per hour?"

NOVEMBER 12, 2007: "OT: Help the aged?" (from alt.atheism)"

"A range of conversational topics such as photo albums, bookshelves and Scrabble are imported from the real world for mutual entertainment. And then there is poking."

NOVEMBER 5, 2007: "Re: 45 Minutes with Bush" (from alt.flame.cincinnati)

"So, the first thing that a President does, which I didn't realize, was pick a rug. I have no idea about rugs. And so in this job you've got to delegate. The American President is in a position where there's just unbelievable complexities to the job -- Darfur, Iran -- a whole lot of issues. So I delegated the decision about the rug to my wife."

OCTOBER 29, 2007: "1981: Who is God and Who Am I?" (from alt.religion. unification)

"Today you must feel that you are applying for the championship. When you say 'Good morning' to your fiancee, and she replies, 'What did you say?,' I want you to understand that you have the most dramatic, historical beginning."

OCTOBER 22, 2007: "Re: Giant alien head on the tarmac" (from sci.astro)

"Stephen stole Mary, my girlfriend, from me, and was with Zeus on earth, and I was on the moon going out with Gwendolyn, our communications officer. (Sailor moon, Genie from I dream of Genie.) She is probably from the Jetsons' world or some other planet like that in the same neighborhood."

OCTOBER 15, 2007: "Resend [Crone] - Sagas in the Making (fwd)" (from alt. dragons-inn)

"The villagers were leery of madmen."

OCTOBER 8, 2007: "Re: RE: RE: Why I LOVE my job!!!" (from ChanChapter @googlegroups.com)

"I buy amazing shoes that I will never get to wear."

OCTOBER 1, 2007: "Re: Two bear attacks" (from misc.survivalism)

"Shut your mouth and go help a friend. Rub an elder's feet. Make a remarkable, good knife . . . and give it to someone with no knife at all."

SEPTEMBER 24, 2007: "In the Balance" (from publicintel@googlegroups.com)

"It is grim and dilapidated; its roads are crumbling; and traffic crawls around the roundabouts as boys sell bananas and boxes of perfumed tissue paper at intersections. Humvees with masked American gunners rumble by. Civilian drivers wait all day for gas as flames from sabotaged oil pipelines light the western horizon like monuments."

SEPTEMBER 17, 2007: "Forward: THE CAPTAIN OF THE POLE-STAR. by Sir A. Conan Doyle." (from alt.food.waffle-house)

"The Captain is tall and well-formed, with dark, handsome face, and a curious way of twitching his limbs, which may arise from nervousness, or be simply an outcome of his excessive energy. His jaw and whole cast of countenance is manly and resolute, but the eyes are the distinctive feature of his face. They are of the very darkest hazel, bright and eager, with a singular mixture of recklessness in their expression, and of something else which I have sometimes thought was more allied with horror than any other emotion. Generally the former predominated, but on occasions, and more particularly when he was thoughtfully inclined, the look of fear would spread and deepen until it imparted a new character his whole countenance. It is at these times that he is most subject to tempestuous fits of anger, and he seems to be aware of it, for I have known him lock himself up so that no one might approach him until his dark hour was passed. He sleeps badly, and I have heard him shouting during the night, but his cabin is some little distance from mine, and I could never distinguish the which he said."

SEPTEMBER 10, 2007: "Re: Brain Function of Liberals and Conservatives Differs" (from abc_politics_forum@googlegroups.com)

"....Psychologist David Amodio, a professor at New York University, found that the brain's anterior cingulate cortex is more sensitive in people who consider themselves liberal.  The region helps people shift gears when responses would be inappropriate, backing the notion that liberals are more flexible in their thinking."

SEPTEMBER 3, 2007: "And the password is..." (from Hasbroucks@ googlegroups.com)

"I almost want to take a survey, stop each person and ask 'Excuse me, could you tell me the top three reasons you're staring at me?'"

AUGUST 27, 2007:  "On The Road -- Scroll Edition" (from rec.music.dylan)

"On the other hand, there's no television or profiling of folks smoking tea and taking bennies."

AUGUST 20, 2007: "Dangers Of Aspartame" (from yeshallknowthetruth@ googlegroups.com)

"My sister called me within 32 hours after our phone conversation and told me she had stopped drinking the diet soda and she could walk!"

AUGUST 13, 2007: "Re: 1999-2000 Eastern Conference Predictions" (from alt.sports.basketball.nba.tor-raptors)

"I guarantee that if Cleveland could go back in time, they wouldn't have traded their only center
. . . . I suggest you read up on this stuff -- you really need it."

AUGUST 6, 2007: "links to polluton harm and uncaring society" (from pa.politics)

"The only commutes found to be low in diesel exposure were those on electric-powered subways and commuter trains, buses running on alternative fuels or retrofitted with diesel particulate filters, and in cars traveling with little truck traffic. . . .  I just want to know the extent of damage I am living under.  That's rarely gone over.  Give me the damage risks, that's all I ask."

JULY 30, 2007: "July 7th as Machiavellian State Terror?" (from anti-globalism@googlegroups.com)

"It may be easier to recognize Machiavellian state terror when practiced by nations other than our own. For example, The New York Times -- a long-time opponent of 'conspiracy theory' -- offered a sober appraisal of the Putin government's possible involvement in terrorist bombing of apartment buildings used to justify Russia's renewed hostilities against Chechnya. 'From the start, the bombings were viewed with suspicion, especially after the discovery of federal agents planting what turned out to be explosives in the basement of another building. (A training exercise, officials finally said.) In Russian politics, the violence clearly played to the advantage of hard- liners like Mr. Putin.'"

JULY 23, 2007: "Re: Celebrities in Scientology FAQ" (from alt.religion.scientology)

"Plus have we not garden thru quite every vogue? Unlike half the cork it was a prognosticator beside postmaster, half academicianship either half product. Plus, respecting you, it affectionately reconstructed every inexpressibly purple outflow toward mine. Undismayed gambit, a construction who had circumscribed upon its luncheon."

JULY 16, 2007:  "[atxc-pi] NEW: J is for Jealousy (7/8)" (from alt.tv.x-files.creative)

"It was taking so long and my nerves were on edge by the time she reached the window and sat in a full squat."

JULY 9, 2007: "Re: Sunrise 3/3 right this time" (from alt.dreams.lucid)

"Having men in your bed can be tiring. Irrespective of whether they are physical or non-physical."

JULY 2, 2007: "Re: Dream Team" (from rec.pets.cats.health+behav)

"I worked on the hot-cold exercise for about 30 minutes when he suddenly 'got it.' After that he came to me every time with no hesitation."

JUNE 25, 2007: "Re: Frightening similarities between Kabbalah and Scientology terror tactics" (from alt.religion.scientology)

"'I went to one of the free meetings and they said if you do this and this you won't get cancer or sick,' recalls Rachel Bernstein, the community education coordinator at the Cult Hotline and Clinic here in New York. 'If you go to all the classes and make a donation and you get cancer, that's because when you were scanning the Zohar, you were not truly feeling it in your heart.'"

JUNE 18, 2007: "Re: Fraud in Experimental and Theoretical Science" (from sci.physics)

"How you cannot understand such basic doppler effect is beyond me."

JUNE 11, 2007: "Re: As Cathy Seipp Lay Dying, Her Nemesis Took His Parting Shot on the Web" (from alt.obituaries)

"Tony Snow is not an officer but an employee of the US > government. He's never been elected to anything."

JUNE 4, 2007: "rec.martial-arts Newbies Guide to Self Defense" (from rec.martial-arts)

"Attempting to read, digest and implement every recommendation or option discussed herein would quickly lead to the reader to conclude that this document should be more appropriately titled The Extreme Paranoid's Guide to the World."

MAY 28, 2007: "Re: 'It is about time to change,' Lenstra said." (from sci.crypt)

"There Gul will smash the tank, and if Norris nonetheless whispers it too, the concern will belong like the short-term cafe. How did Kenny escape during all the brochures? We can't advance pressures unless Brion will as hurt afterwards. She wants to dry reluctant rises in view of Norris's night."

MAY 21, 2007: "The Trouble With Henry" (from sci.med.diseases.lyme)

"This is why you do research, not because you have -- excuse me -- a bug up your ass."

MAY 14, 2007:  "[IIWF Countdown to Forever] 31 July 1998 [2/7]" (from rec. sport.pro-wrestling.fantasy)

"There were reports that a gentleman who purported to represent the meat industry was wrestling in a butcher's apron, carrying big slabs of meat into the ring. I laughed at first, until I found out this man truly did represent the meat industry."

MAY 7, 2007: "New: (2/2) 'Arm's Length'" (from alt.tv.x-files.creative)

"We're still in the office, I bet. Also in somebody's mind."

APRIL 30, 2007: "045 Posting" (from one-human-society@googlegroups.com)

"From a philosophical, scientific, or moral point of view, how can animal happiness be trivial?"

APRIL 23, 2007:  "Logging proposal worries Oregonians" (from misc.activism. progressive)

"'We have had some very well-thought-out comments . . . . But we must have a biological opinion before we can move forward on this,' she said."

APRIL 16, 2007: "CIA/Pentagon Torturers have driven perhaps thousands of innocent kidnappers insane, Neocon psychological torture system is finally on trial" (from total_truth_sciences@googlegroups.com)

"He is convinced that his lawyers are 'part of a continuing interrogation program' and sees his captors as protectors."

APRIL 9, 2007: "Re: Response to Eade" (from rec.games.chess.politics)

"You tell a lie and then pretend that it is I that has done something wrong."

APRIL 2, 2007: "Re: Lengthy discussion of Science & Religion" (from bionet. neuroscience"

"Even if you send out thousands of letters and papers, make thousands of phone calls, visit labs and universities across the country -- even if you do so at Science conferences where folks are gathered in the 'hope' of receiving the stuff you're trying to give them -- all that ever happens is that, like the ancient folks, people treat you as if you're a 'madman,' and then 'burn you at the stake,' in whatever way of doing such is 'familiar' within folks' experience."

MARCH 26, 2007: "Re: Baptismal Regeneration & Acts 2:38" (from alt.christnet)

"There is no law of God that prohibits us from: #1, obeying the laws of men -- except when the two conflict; #2, protecting ourselves and what is ours (copyright law)."

MARCH 19, 2007: "Re: Cinefest status report" (from alt.movies.silent)

"Best moments: Charley Rogers playing Goebbels in the second one, and Der Fuhrer singing to himself while he he was painting ('Do I have my ol' paint brush? yes I have my ol' paint brush!') in the first."

MARCH 12, 2007: "Nikken's End #6A: The Semantics of Anger: Hatred of Shakyamuni -...*{" (from alt.religion.buddhism.nichiren)

"'After I die, make certain that I am cremated. If at that time my tongue is consumed by the flames, then you may discard all the sutras that I have translated' . . . Even in the case of translators who lived after Kumarajiva, if their tongues burned up when they were cremated, it means that there are errors in their work."

MARCH 5, 2007: "xfc: NEW: Blood Ties V: Legacies (14 of 20)" (from alt.tv.x-files.creative)

"If you remember, I dropped into a comatose state myself."

FEBRUARY 26, 2007: "An Indian Holiday" (from alt.meditation.transcendental)

"The food was impossible for me because, you know, I'm allergic to so many different things that I took two suitcases with me, one of clothes and one of Heinz beans."

FEBRUARY 19, 2007: "Re: Did someone say Baba Yaga's Dead?" (from alt.games.whitewolf)

"If we go by the assumption that only another Vampire of equal or greater 'power' can squelch an Elder (4th Gen), then maybe Baba Yaga is dead. . . . I do not think he is dead. Some Nosferatu (those within the true Hand) believe he is one of the three entities sleeping in the Crypt of Enoch and fear him even more than the Niktuku."

FEBRUARY 12, 2007: "Re: Sep 23, Show Summary" (from alt.radio.talk.dr-laura)

"Husband had a brain hemorrhage last year. He's doing well. He gave her a trip with her best friend for some time in Africa next year. Is she being selfish in going and leaving the kids? [Dr. Laura]: "Yea." Laura says it's a war torn and disease ridden place. Laura suggests they do something exciting as a family like river rafting."

FEBRUARY 5, 2007: "Re: OT - Wake up, your life is passing you by and your too..." (from alt.machines.cnc)

"I'm still laughing my ass off at Cliff's attempts to correct Bill Roberto's 25 years of machine shop experience with a quote from some engineering book."

JANUARY 29, 2007:  "Helping God find the Lost Ark. Pt. 125." (from alt.christnet)

"Mr. Bill White taped a conversaton with the dying Wyatt and in it there's reference to a shelf. The angels, as he and White report, then placed the stone Sinai Tablets atop this shelf. Later, they will take the video from Wyatt and place it there also. If there's anything new here it is that we're seeing Wyatt himself state that the Tablets and that video tape are on the shelf. I assume this material comes from the video that Wyatt later made about his discovery."

JANUARY 22, 2007: "Nikken's End #4: The Takanos: The Graduate? _...*(" (from alt.religion.buddhism.nichiren)

"Nikken, the Usurper King of the Rats at Taisekiji, has been replaced by Nichinyo, who is an angry member of the elite, due to too many blows to the head. A little punchy, and brief in his rule, since Nikken has plans for his son to take over. One thing that is known for certain: There will be a new Rat King. And quickly there will be another. Another thing that is known for certain: All the alliances will change, and more than once. Anyone [who] has watched Survivor knows this."

JANUARY 15, 2007: "Pork Roast, sugarbrowned potatoes, curly kale, brown gravy" (from rec.food.cooking)

"It's almost a religious war between the 'pork for christmas' people and the 'duck for christmas' people, so some families serve both to avoid any conflict!"

JANUARY 8, 2007: "Re: recommendation for an interpretation guide" (from rec.arts.books)

"The sound effect is so vivid it is almost comic: the devils land on the floor of Hell like a ton of bricks. (Neat trick, considering that it is bottomless.)

JANUARY 1, 2007: "Re: Cedarizing and a LGC Churchill" (from alt.smokers.cigars)

"My mouth is watering as I read your post. Maybe that is where cotton mouth originates."

2006 Archive, "The Usenet Project": Pages 116-171 of White Noise

2005 Archive, "The Usenet Project": Pages 59-115 of White Noise

2004 Archive, "The Usenet Project": Pages 3-58 of White Noise