Source: Page 83 of White Noise Keywords: "into," "department," "ten-story," "building"

From: Mike Escutia Subject: [SG] Adventures in Heroing #3 - "Down and Not-So-Dirty" Date: 6 Jul 1997 Newsgroups: rec.arts.comics.creative

Downtown Whattabig City is known for many things, not the least of which is its sheer size. While the city itself is not as big as New York, Los Angeles, or Chicago, its downtown district could give any of those three cities' downtown districts a run for its money. Skyscrapers reached up into the sky, seemingly forever, and stores lined the streets, their owners having rented space at the bottoms of the huge buildings. It is here, in downtown Whattabig, that the Nowthatsa Mall is located, its thirty-story-tall building being the home of over four hundred stores. Four hundred and seventy-three, to be exact, with some of the larger department stores spread out over more than one level. The city's monorail system, one of the few fully-functional systems in the world, has a line -- the Green Line -- that runs through the mall via a monorail station on level 5. There are other attractions in downtown Whattabig City if shopping isn't your cup o' tea. One popular place is the Cafe' Myers, which serves what is undoubtedly the best coffee in the city. Another is Impressive Library, located on the corner of 5th and Central; the immense building is rumored to be bigger on the inside than it is on the outside. And, of course, there's always the various museums: The Whattabig Museum of Science (including an IMAX screen and a planetarium), the Museum of Natural History, the Museum of Unnatural History, and some smaller ones that aren't really worth mentioning here. Finally, the Wowlookatthat Aquarium is only a short drive from downtown Whattabig, and is one of the most well-known aquariums in the region. Arguably, the main road running through downtown Whattabig is Centennial Avenue, which actually runs the entire length of the city, from north to south. It is this road that is the equivalent to New York's Madison Avenue, or the "Main Street" of a small town. Centennial Avenue is where you'll find the Nowthatsa Mall, First Bank of Whattabig's central branch, and Whattabig City Hall. The road runs along the western edge of the Whattabig Common, a park situated just a few blocks south of City Hall, and intersects with Interstate 36, the main road out of the city. It is also on Centennial Avenue that a woman and nine other people were marching, heading north towards City Hall. The woman, apparently the leader, wore a white jumpsuit, her hair tied back to keep it out of her face. Attached to her wrists were a pair of odd-looking devices connected to a tank strapped to her back. The other people wore identical black jumpsuits and carried similiar weapons in their hands. As they looked like they were exterminators looking for insects to get rid of, hardly anybody paid any attention to them. "We're being ignored, ma'am," one of the men in the group said. "Thank you for telling me something I don't already know, Howard," the woman hissed. She then stopped, and considered the buildings that surrounded the group on two sides. One of them was a law firm. The other was the First Bank of Whattabig. "Perfect," she smiled. "What a perfect opportunity to test my weapons of cleansing. All right, troops!" she shouted, getting the full, undivided attention of her followers. "In the name of clean hands, let's go rob a bank." Bank employees and customers were rather surprised when a woman and several people carrying guns stormed into the main lobby, moving quickly as if they had done this before, or at least practised a lot. Within less than a minute, everyone who had been in the bank, was lying face-down on the floor as the robbers took their money and other valuables. The only exceptions were the one teller who was being forced to open the large vault in the back room... and an overconfident security guard who was convinced that these latest troublemakers were no match for his handgun. The woman, however, had seen him pull his gun out of its holster, and as he moved to fire it, she raised her hand... ...and a stream of soap suds struck the guard's gun. The stunned guard looked down at his hand, and was surprised to see that it was intact, though the gun was missing. He was even more surprised to find that the hand had never looked or felt cleaner in years. That's when he heard a click, and looked up to see the woman holding a (somewhat more normal) gun of her own on him. "I'd get down on the floor if I were you," she said. "Or it could be your belt that goes next." The guard did as he was told. "Good," the woman smiled, then laughed. "Just imagine, friends... this is just the beginning of my reign of cleansing... The reign of Doctor Palmolive!" Fourth Wall Productions presents: ___ ____ __ __ ___ _ _ _____ _ _ ___ ___ ___ / _ \ | _ \\ \ / // __|| \| ||_ _|| | | || _ \/ __// __| | _ || |_) \\ V / | _| | .` || | | || |_| || /| _| \__ \ |_| |_||____/ \_/ |___||_|\_|| |_| \___/||_|_\|___||___/ ADVENTURES IN HEROING #3 - "Down and Not-So-Dirty" Copyright (c) 1997 Mike Escutia ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ There was a long pause as Mayor Griffin stared at the young, costumed woman that had just entered his office, then at Terry Carson, then at the young woman again. His mouth twitched as he fought to control his emotions, lest he accidentally do something he'd later regret. In his corner, Mister D watched all this with a bemused look on his face, though as he was covered in shadows, no one could tell. Ned, meanwhile, had eyes only for the woman. Use your imagination, folks. Finally, Griffin managed to articulate his response in the best words possible. "Are... you... NUTS?!?" "Who, me?" Terry, Adventure Girl, and Ned asked simultaneously. "Yes, you!" Griffin thundered, pointing at Carson. "Dammit, Carson, I asked for a superHERO, not a superMODEL!" Adventure Girl blinked. "Ah... well, she uh... she -is- a superhero, sir," Terry stammered. "Carson..." Griffin began, barely controlling his temper. "When I I wanted a superhero for this city, I meant someone respectable, like Andy Awesome or Trashman. I did -not- ask for some girl who probably doesn't even have much intelligence, let alone experience! Why, I bet Ned here has more brains than her!" "Yeah!" Ned exclaimed. Griffin was suddenly aware that the costumed woman had moved from her position next to Carson and was now standing on his desk, staring down at him intently. "What are you doing up there?" "Now that I have your attention, I'm going to say this once and -only- once," she said. "I don't have to be here. I could have gone to any needy city, or even a small town out in, say, Indiana. But Te-- Mister Carson was kind enough to let me know about Whattabig City, so I thought I'd try it out. And from what I've seen of this city, you need all the help you can get. But I am -not- going to stay here if I'm going to be treated like some brainless girl who couldn't find anything better to do with her life, got it?" Griffin glared at her for a moment, then sighed. "Very well. I -should- be at least giving you a chance, anyway. Now, can you get off my desk?" She brightened. "Certainly!" she said, then jumped off the desk, did a backflip in mid-air, and made a three-point landing on the floor. "Wow!" Ned exclaimed. Griffin, for once, looked genuinely impressed. "Impressive," Mister D said. "There aren't many gymnastically-endowed superheroes out there these days." "Tell me about it," Adventure Girl said. She then turned back to look at the mayor. "So, when do I start?" Griffin was about to answer when his phone rang. Answering it, he spoke in hushed tones to the person on the other end for a few minutes, then hung up. "How about right now?" "Right now?" a surprised Adventure Girl asked. "Yes. Apparently, some supervillain and her henchmen are holed up in a bank they just robbed, and they've got hostages, so the police can't simply charge in, much as they'd like to." "And you want me to get in there and take them by surprise," she guessed. "Exactly." "What bank is it?" "The First Bank of Whattabig. Two blocks north of here." "No problem!" she said, turning and heading for the door. "I'll get right on it!" "Uh... will you excuse me for a sec?" Terry asked, following her out the door, out of the mayoral offices, and into the main corridor on that floor. The confident look on Kelly's face vanished the moment they were out of sight. "I'm dead." "Nah," Terry told her. "Just get in there, catch 'em by surprise, knock their lights out, and save the day. You've done this before." "Once or twice," she said. "Well, hey, it's better than not at all." "Good point," she conceded. "Okay, I'd better get going. Let's just hope I don't get my head handed to me," she added as she hurried down the stairs. "Good luck," Terry called after her, then began walking back to the mayor's office. "You know," Mister D said once Terry had returned. "If this girl can't stop a single supervillainess and her henchmen, she won't get very far in this world." "Absolutely true, Mister D," Mayor Griffin replied, then looked at Terry. "And I don't think the person responsible for bringing her here will be as respected as he used to be, either. Understand, Carson?" "Ulp," Terry said. * * * * Police commissioner Howard Gold was not a man who could be easily surprised, having served with the Whattabig City Police Department for many years. There were some who said he had seen a lot both before first joining the department and during his sabbatical before he became the commissioner. Whether or not this was true, he seemed almost genuinely surprised by what the mayor was telling him. He blinked curiously at the radio, then put it back on its hook in his car and walked back over to a group of plainclothes officers who were warily watching the bank. "What did the mayor say, sir?" one of the officers, a wiry, black- haired man who looked just a bit impatient, asked. "He's sending over a superhero?" "Bwuh? Since when did Whattabig City have a superhero again?" "Since now, I'd imagine," Gold shrugged. "Relax, Bart. It's not McGuffin Man." "Then who is it?" "She supposedly calls herself 'Adventure Girl'." There was a pause. "You're kidding, right?" "Not this time." * * * * Adventure Girl watched from a ventilation shaft as the robbers and their leader began bagging as much money as they could get their hands on. The shaft opened up onto the main lobby of the bank about ten feet above the floor, offering her a good view of the robbers and the innocent people who had been caught in the bank at the time of the attack. She wondered how they were going to get out of the bank if it was surrounded by the police. Of course, it was her job to keep them from getting out of the bank, period. Go figure. _Okay,_ she mentally told herself. _How would Jon and the others handle this?_ (Um....,) a little voice in the back of her head protested. _Wrong question. How would -Adventure Girl- handle this?_ (Better.) Down below, Doctor Palmolive paced back and forth as her henchmen continued to bag money and valuables. "Hurry up, you slowpokes. The police are getting restless, and we need to be out of here before they come barging in." _Now._ "Oh, wanna bet?" Suddenly, a blue-and-yellow-clad -- and decidedly female -- figure dropped down from a ventilation shaft that was about ten feet off the ground. "This looks like a job for..." Unfortunately, she had misjudged her jump and landed on her own cape, causing her to land on her own cape, trip, and then fall face-down on the floor. "...somebody without a cape," she finished. Several of Palmolive's troops, who had panicked when Adventure Girl had made her entrance, giggled as she struggled to untangle herself from her own cape. The doctor, however, just eyed the costumed woman suspiciously, knowing full well that this could be a problem. "Well, well, well," Palmolive said sinisterly. "A superhero. I thought Whattabig City didn't -have- superheroes." "I'm new here," Adventure Girl stated. "Name's Adventure Girl. And you?" "'Adventure Girl'?" one of Palmolive's flunkies asked. "What kind of superhero name is -that-?" "The best I could come up with, that's what." "We are not here to debate codenames, Charles," Doctor Palmolive told the flunky. "We are here to rob a bank and terrorize Whattabig City in the name of clean hands! And as for you, 'Adventure Girl', all you need to know is that I am Doctor Palmolive, and--" "'Doctor Palmolive'?" Adventure Girl asked. "What kind of supervillain name is -that-? Eep!" she added, narrowly avoiding the stream of soap suds that shot out at her. She turned to see where they had landed, and was surprised to see a a rather noticeable hole on the wall behind her, right where the suds had hit. "Never mind." "Enough time-wasting," Palmolive said evenly. "Troops, get her!" "Ut-oh," Adventure Girl said as she ducked behind a column and a potted plant to avoid being hit by soap suds. _I'm dodging concentrated soap suds. Perfect way to start a new career. Well, at least they're not using..._ "Use the regular guns!" _...bullets._ Suddenly, without warning, and very quickly so as to avoid being shot, Adventure Girl dove for the nearest counter, vaulting over it and crouching low so that at least the robbers who were shooting at her wouldn't have such an easy time. Unfortunately, she hadn't noticed the two robbers who were still in the back room, and got her arm grazed by a bullet as a result. "So much for quality spandex," she quipped as she ducked out of the way of more bullets. She was about to try to find some way of subduing the gunmen closest to her when a device on Doctor Palmolive's costume beeped loudly. The villainess pulled the device off of her belt and spoke into it, listening to a response that Adventure Girl could barely hear. "Our getaway vehicle is here," Palmolive stated. "We're leaving. Everyone to the roof." "Oh, no you don't," Adventure Girl muttered as she leaped into action, running at the two robbers who were carrying large bags of money from the vault. She tackled one, causing him to collide with the other, and sending all of the money bags flying. By sheer luck, the collision also caused the second robber to hit his head against the door frame, knocking him unconscious before he even hit the floor. "Oof!" the first robber exclaimed. "Right, that does it. I'm gonna--" "Be knocked unconscious," Adventure Girl finished for him as she clocked him with the butt of his own gun. "The money!" Doctor Palmolive exclaimed. "Damn you, I needed that to buy more supplies!" "Boss! We have to go!" Charles shouted. "The police look like they're ready to storm this place!" Palmolive gritted her teeth, releasing her breath through her nose. "Yes, of course. Let's go. But first, let me leave something for our dear newbie superhero..." She raised her hand, and a stream of soap shot out from the gauntlet, hitting the ceiling directly above Adventure Girl ...and weakening the remains enough to cause them to fall. "Erp!" Adventure Girl commented as she scrambled to get out of the way of the falling debris. _Mental note: Add a hardhat to costume._ She looked up, saw Palmolive and her troops heading for the stairwell, and realized that she had completely failed to stop the villainess. "Like heck I have!" she shouted, jumping up and running for the stairs. The last of Palmolive's henchmen were piling into what looked like some sort of small airship as Adventure Girl burst through the roof access door and onto the roof. She put off the question of why a bank would have a roof access door and concentrated on reaching the airship as it lifted away from the rooftop. She succeeded, managing to grab onto the starboard edge as the ship pulled away from the building. _Uh-oh,_ she thought as she felt the ground fall away from under her feet. * * * * Back down on the ground, the Whattabig City Police opened fire on the ship, hoping to damage it enough to force it to land. It was as they were realizing that their weapons were having no affect on the vehicle that they saw the costumed woman hanging from the side of it. "Good grief," one of the officers said as he watched all this. "She's a regular daredevil." "She'll get herself killed!" Toppleson exclaimed. "I guess we know now why she calls herself Adventure Girl," Commissioner Gold said. "No kidding." * * * * Adventure Girl hung on tight as she dangled from the edge of the airship, forcing herself not to look down. Unfortunately, the view above her wasn't any better, as Palmolive and her henchmen had noticed her... and they weren't too terribly happy about it. "Hmph," Palmolive snorted. "She's determined, isn't she? Terrence, shake her off." "Yes, ma'am," the pilot of the airship said as he checked his grip on the steering stick. Smiling, he started shaking it, causing the ship to act as if it had hit turbulence. "YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Adventure Girl exclaimed as she fought to maintain her grip on the edge of the ship. _I-I-I-I n-n-neeeed-d t-to g-g-get in-n-nsid-de,_ she thought as she looked around for something she could get a better grip on. "Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the 'Fasten Seat Belt' sign!" Terrence exclaimed as the ship began rocking back and forth. Behind him, Doctor Palmolive smirked as the rest of her henchmen, who had forgotten to strap themselves in, bounced around the cabin. "YAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Adventure Girl repeated as she nearly lost her grip. Gritting her teeth, she struggled to pull herself up towards the hatch that was just a foot above her. As she did, she could see Doctor Palmolive looking down at -- and on -- her. Palmolive glanced over at Terrence. "Well? She's still there." "Right!" Terrence exclaimed. "If this doesn't shake her, nothing will!" He reached down and pushed a button marked 'Just Slick It'. Back outside, Adventure Girl had just started taking another shot at pulling herself up to the hatch when she felt her grip loosen involuntarily. Looking at her hands, she saw a translucent, bluish-green liquid seeping out of various tiny holes on the hull of the ship, instantly realizing what was happening. _Oh, *hell(tm)*._ Unfortunately, moving quickly to grab onto something that wouldn't slip out from under her proved to be a mistake, and she found herself losing her grip completely, fall away from the airship, and plummet to the ground below. UH-OH. WILL ADVENTURE GIRL SURVIVE THE FALL TO THE GROUND BELOW? WILL TERRY SURVIVE WHEN MAYOR GRIFFIN IS THROUGH WITH HIM? WILL WHATEVER ADVENTURE GIRL LANDS ON SURVIVE? WILL EVERYONE HAVE SOFT AND CLEAN HANDS IN THE END? WILL I EVER HAVE BETTER TEASER QUESTIONS TO READ? Gravity will pull you back down to Earth in time for the next round of Superguy. The landings are rough, though. ======================================================================== Author's Notes: And you thought this would be messy. One curious thing that happened as I was writing the opening scene was that Nowthatsa Mall, which I had originally pictured as a sprawling complex surrounded by a large parking lot, became a thirty-story downtown building with an underground parking garage. Almost immediately, the visual inspiration for this was Chicago's Water Tower Place, a roughly ten-story shopping mall with several levels of underground parking space. I havn't been there in years. ----- Copyright (c) 1997 Mike Escutia, all rights reserved. Email: e...@eyrie.org. Homepage: http://www.eyrie.org/~ergh/ Previous episodes: http://www.eyrie.org/~ergh/Writing/aih.html

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