Source: Page 51 of White Noise Keywords: "darkness," "jingles," "ask," "chants"

From: Eyeglazer <velerin@netzero.net> Subject: Re: You DAMN RIGHT. Date: 19 May 2000 Newsgroups: alt.games.final-fantasy

In defiance of the Laws of Boredom, A.Weirdo wrote: >After revealing that they were the singer of all the annoying radio >jingles for the Questionable Ethics, Inc. company, The Baner was >pelted by 43 tomatoes, causing them to yell the following : > >> >>VeLoCiDaDe JiRo wrote in message >><20000518222455.09019.00000131@ng-ff1.aol.com>... >>>Protests at Bloodhound Gang Concert >>>May 11, 2000 | 11:00 AM EST >>>A group of students gathered at the University of Maryland`s "Art Attack" >>>concert on May 5 to protest The Bloodhound Gang`s controversial performance. >>>According to the university`s newspaper, The Diamondback, 75 to 100 protestors >>>disrupted the entire lineup of acts between songs with chants for respect and >>>equality. According to other reports, the dissenting students raised their >>>fists in the air, joined hands, and turned their backs to the stage when the >>>Bloodhound Gang took the stage. Student groups at various campuses are planning >>>protests as the Bloodhound Gang, a group specializing in a tongue-in-cheek, >>>unabashedly racist/homophobic/sexist breed of hip hop, continues their national >>>tour. >>>--Compiled by AsianAvenue.com staff >>> >>> >>>-- >>Those pricks are giving Maryland a bad name. >> >>Oh wait, Maryland's a shitty state...I should leave. > ><SNIP> > >Good luck finding a non-shitty state...every state in the union has >it's resident morons. In Tennessee's case, our resident morons have >congregated around Nashville. Most of them seem to be employed by the >Legislature... Newton's Governmental Law of Motion: The likelyhood that a human being will gravitate towards a given political office is inversely proportional to their intelligence, and the speed of such gravitation is directly proportional to their senility. -- ------------------- "If you find a posting from this site offensive, inappropriate, or disruptive, please ignore it. If you don't know how to ignore a posting, complain to us and we will demonstrate." - the Site of Virtue FAQ. ------------------- Eyeglazer, Lord of Boredom. The Evil One. Member of the Princes of Agff. Man of the Eleventh Hour. Guardian of Twilight. Wielder of the Euphoria Blade. Wielder of the Gray Saber. Wielder of the Rusty Meathook. Wielder of the Rusty Lawnmower Blade. Wielder of the Industrial Chainsaw. Wielder of the Infinite Napalm. Defender of Aeris Gainsborough. Defender of my own name. Anti-Defender of Compaq. Owner of 25 Shiny points. Owner of 10 Philosophy points. Owner of 10 Weirdicity points. Owner of 1 Celine Stuffy. Owner of 1 Golden Spangly. Owner of a semi-illegit Boredom Award, awarded by Linda. Co-owner of a 100 reply email cascade. Sole Author of 2 (two) Agff Fanfics. Co-Author of 2 (two) round-robin Agff Fanfics. Delivered 2 (two) newbies to Agff. Unwarrentied and nonrefundable. GFox Medal for putting something off even longer than Greg would. X's Award for Understatement of the Year. Inventor of the Incendiary Buttplug. Inventor of Dehydrated Evil: Just Add Water. Self-Declared Grand Lord of Starcraft. Unofficial Biggest Fool of April Fool's. Doom of the Revivalists. **************************************** * * * Two Thousand (2000) Posts and * * 1 OPotD to alt.games.final-fantasy. * * * **************************************** 95.4% pure. Contact Info: eyeglazer@indestruction.com (preferred) velerin@netzero.net eyeglazer@hotmail.com Aim: Eyeglazer ICQ: 13225676 Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "Watson, you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent." -------------------- The Elements: -------------------- Eyeglazer: Earth Adam Merrifield: Water Astos: Fire/Air Atma: Fire A. Weirdo: Air/Earth Black Mountain: Air Bob: Water Brainfreeze: Water CabbitXtreme: Earth Cassie: Air Cypher: Air Dana: Fire Dave: Earth Greg: Air Justin Sueno: Water Kain Highwind: Air Leareth: Water Linda: Water Moony: Air Nightshade: Earth Pigwalk: Fire Ramen Junkie: Fire Rubi: Water Shirlene: Water Slipgate: Water Small Girl: Water Technetium: Water Tharkun: Earth Thierry: Water Wyvern: Air X: Air Zohar: Water -------------------- The Strange: -------------------- "How come no one's killed me yet?" - Darkmere "It's your fault for chatting here. Not ours for cursing, bitching, and being obscene." - X "This serial cable sucks. It's like pumping a swimming pool through a drinking straw." - Dave G. "So? She's just a slu-- Er, I mean, DAMN HIM HE MUST DIE!" - Atma, upon being informed by me of the defilement of Aeris. "Not that I'm advocating sending nasty E-mail to your teachers or anything..." - CronoDAS "I've wanted to tell them the truth. "I'm being stalked by an immensely evil organization of annihilistic psychics hell bent on killing me and destroying humanity, Dr. Frezza." But usually I just say I slept in, yeah." - CX. "Now, please proceed to the nearest gas station and light a match. If a gas station is not available in your area (Outer Mongolia, I think...), please unplug your computer and shove a fork in the socket. Thank you, have a nice day." - Night Angel, to a troll. "Greg and N.S. both sent me an AIM log to prove how much of a bastard the other one was. It was the same AIM log." - Ford. I don't usually put stuff like this up, but it was just too damn funny to resist. :) "I don't give a crap about what shit has to say. Just sit there and smell bad. Don't presume to be sentient." - Technetium, to an AGGTAer. The only flame that will ever go in my sig. "The old testament was entertaining, but I was rooting for the wrong team the whole time, I think." - Dave G., on the Bible "Question: How do you know you're addicted to a game? Answer: As you drift off to sleep you realize you forgot to make a ship nuke a planet and you rush back online to fix it." - Mike. "You must be the new Phoenix I've heard of. Meet the old one." - Phoenix. "Do not call your diety a dumbass!" - Marcus Yu "Damn, the fact I know this shit kinda scares me." - Atma "I hate ex-AOL'ers. They expect everything to be JUST like AOL, and either threaten to sue or want to change providers when they find out otherwise. I just got a call today from a woman who didn't know what a modem was, or that you needed it to go online. When I informed her nicely of this, she angrily said that she'd be happy to switch to an ISP that didn't require the use of a 'modem.'" - Aeaen "Listen, I just do secretary work! If you've got dirty balls, you wash them!" - Aylee, "Sluggy Freelance." "Rudolph the red-nosed nazi! Had a very shiny rifle!" - Atma. "Umm, you can't pull nothing out of nothing. You have no bag, you have no ass. They were incinerated." - A friend named Marlene, when another friend tried to pull a bag out of his ass. "Is it just me or does ff7 have all the makings of one superb porno?" - Mike. "Remember, in a job interview the more you lie the better." - Ditto. "I need my intelligence sleep. (I figure no amount of beauty sleep will ever help me, but I can at least get smarter :)" - Ditto. "Verbal violence is my best friend." - Atma. "If I were president, I'd have the big red button mounted on my desk and hooked to a random number generator set up to process launch codes for the nukes. I'd just sit there pressing it when I get bored... click click click click click click click click." - Smidge "To sleep or not to sleep, that is the question...whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous sleep deprivation, or to take arms against a sea of drowsiness, and by sleeping, end them...." - Cilamene "Why would any woman in her right mind want a fish up her wazoo?!?" - King Kung "The fewer sick bastards there are, the better for we who feel sick around sick bastards." - St. Kain "DAMNIT! I got the sticky stuff on my keyboard again." - Greg Cook. Who else? O_o "Um...weeks of defiling my name, and everything I stand for... or 1 (one) defilement of the Armadillo." - Unright, when I asked what it would take to offend him. "I'd appreciate it if you managed to spell 'resurrection' and 'resuscitate' correctly. My younger brother just peered over my shoulder and is yelling out to my mother some incoherent babble about me watching "Aerith erections" on the net. This is not funny." -Darryll Lim, to a revialist. "Lobby? I'm forced to wait in the lobby? No, sir. I must profess my love for you NOW NOW NOW!" - Slipgate to me on Aim. Disturbing, no? "You know that you're in a fucked-up newsgroup when there's a discussion about the flavor of female genitalia, and the first thing that makes you think "uh, how would he know that?" is the thing that he compares the flavor to." - Crisis. "AIIIEIEEEE!!! YOU HAVE NO HEAD!!!" - Unright, proving that even *he* has GFS. "Oxford University. Founded in 1167, with technology to match." - St. Kain. "Alright, smartypants, don't make me sodomize you...." - Spoony. "I was eating one of those PepperRidge Farm cookies, and I noticed that the bag the cookies come in has a large picture of the cookie on it. In little tiny letters next to it, it says, 'enlarged to show texture.' I couldn't help but conclude that this should have been written on Tifa's breasts." - Cunnilingus Breath "If I meet the guy who's ideal woman is 400 pounds, seventy years old, and pisses in his mouth while tied up and fucking a horse, and is his sister, I will take great pleasure in hitting him in the head with a baseball bat." - Dave G. "The cows are not what they seem..." - Leareth "Operator? I'd like to speak to the bluff of one Mr. Vant, please." - St. Kain, calling my bluff...when I wasn't bluffing. <evil laugh> ".......Damnit, you just tricked me, didn't you?" - Kathy "And once again I get sigged after you trick me." - Kathy again, moments later. <evil grin> "This is what they call a mission critical thing. Your ISP is not good for mission critical operations." - Dave G. "Discolored zits on your ass are not sources of evil." - Atma. "Consider yourself honored, my friend. You are the first person I have ever killfiled after only one post." - Sean, to a troll. "Ah, the dump that is the public school system...." - Falimortalis "It's rather like getting a rectal exam with a claw hammer...." - Dave G., on Linux installations. "You had to ask me to come up with a shape for a statue made of COW POOP?!?!" - Craxton. "I can't be mad at my mom anymore! And she commited the ultimately Evil crime of disturbing orgasm! I'm too happy! O_o" - Kathy. "I learned something today. No matter how many penguins occupy the same area, their urine is not enough in quantity to make all the snow yellow." - Pigwalk "What have you done to my rabid, man eating security armadillo?" - Edwyn "The Brillo pad is your friend." - Edwyn again. "Who needs a bed? Tifa's breasts are big enough to seat at LEAST 7 billion." - Atma "I dare someone to use the pickup line 'May I have the distinct pleasure of urinating down your cleavage?' I guarantee you'll get a reaction with that line." - Thierry Nguyen "May I have the distinct pleasure of urinating between your buttcheeks?" - Jonny, moments later. "I'm not in a fight with Josh, I just wish he would die." - Small Girl. "It's so small...I can't even find it!" - Dilbert "Disk error in drive A: [A]bort, [R]etry, [I]nfluence with large hammer?" - Grudal "Geez, just a little demonic summoning and the entire conversation goes down the toilet...." - Sean Dougherty "But considering that I can't stand hypocrisy, being a hypocrite myself makes me doubly hypocritical. :P" - St. Kain. "This is America. We only punish [people] for doing shit like hitchhiking." - Atma. "Can I have my dick back, Atma?" - Funkidelic "Noooo!! You ain't digging holes through meeee!!!!!" - X, taking the term 'bore' dreadfully out of context. "Blizzard!? I'll tell you about a danged blizzard! Back in Nam! Nam, I tells ya! Now there was a blizzard! Yeah! Them Germans were a tough bunch, but I showed them who was the queen of the sugar plum fairies! Ha ha ha *hack* *cough*" -Edwyn, after Amy remarked that she didn't remeber any Blizzard in 1993. "Being female means...asking if you're fat and not accepting either answer." - Cilamene (female, I might add, before anyone crucifies me. ;) "My parents asked my college-age cousin if he was going to pay for a vacation for his parents after graduating and getting a good job. His respose: 'Yeah, to Kosovo.'" - Cil again. :) "Aackk! Help me! I'm home alone and the toilet's making weird noises!!" - *and* again... "...okay then. Just don't scare her away. <wants a piece> Gahh! Bad brain, bad brain. <wants to have a respectful platonic relationship> .... just shut up, Dave...just shut up." - Dave G. "ATTENTION, PASSENGERS. THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN WINKY SPEAKING. THE PENIS IS NOW LOCKED IN AN UPRIGHT POSITION. THANK YOU." - X "I dunno about you, but I like my girls in a resolution slightly higher than 40 X 32." - Ditto "There's a post about it somewhere, but I forget what it's called. In the end it was discovered that AGFF is really little Tommy Rogers of Rosevelt, Kansas, whose father owns a textile factory. He enjoys pudding." - Wyvern, on the multiple personality that is Agff. "Sarcasm overload, switching to backup boosters...." - Atma "Fortunately, their inspection has come and gone. Now I can turn my room back into a conflagration waiting to happen, a pyromaniac's dream come true, a room that does the arsonist's job for him, a room where you'd better watch your temper because if it flares up so will the room.... a room that, at any second, could suddenly turn into an offshoot of the seventh circle of HELL.... or, in a pinch, Slough, which is the next best thing." - St. Kain. (Slough is a very unpleasant town in England) "Awright! Well, I want that written on my tombstone! Sod any mathematical achievements I may accomplish in my life, or any progeny I may leave behind, when I die, I want my tombstone to read "Here lies Kain Aron Highwind, who pushed Eyeglazer's .sig over 1000 lines" - THERE's a place in the history books for me!" - St. Kain again. :) "Actually, that might be a good ide----I didn't say that *whistles innocently* Let's move swiftly on...." - Kim Wild, in e-mail. "I try to whack off once a day. Keeps me from getting bitchy." - Dave G. "One of them had an Amaco gas pump between his legs and was pretending it was his penis. That is the truth." - Jake, "The Waste Lands." "Openly lesbian couple? No, no. I love Edwyn, too, but that doesn't mean I'm into bestiality." - Merry Widow "And now I've inadvertantly contributed to the problem I finally allowed myself to bitch about! ARHGHGHGIREOHGerhge!" - Greg, after complaining about my sig and being added to it. "Linda, don't worry, I have complete confidence in my cock." - Marcus Yu "Forgive me if I don't know how best to react to this without seeming either pryish or an inconsiderate ass :)" - Slipgate "No sex in AGFF is a very good thing. If AGFFers learned to reproduce, the world would be in horrible danger." - Atma "...stop mocking me. I'm mocking you right now. We can't both mock at the same time." - Dave G. "I think I need to electrocute some lab rats. Yes, that'll make me feel better. [wanders away]" - Cilamene "If I was any more metal, I'd set off airport alarms." - JT. "Stop it, I don't need any more hope. I've got too much already." - Atma. ;) "Put the pen away before I hurt you, 'Glazer. O_o" - Kathy "Dude, if the fabric of reality is crumbling, could you please let me in on it?" - Dave G. "You WOULDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" - Kain. Does it really matter what the context was? ;) ------------------------- The Wizard's Rules: ------------------------- Wizard's First Rule: A person will believe any falsehood, either because he wants to believe it, or he fears it is so. Wizard's Second Rule: The worst harm can result from the best intentions. Wizard's Third Rule: Passion rules reason. ------------------------- Soliloquies ------------------------- "Tomorrow, freedom disappears at 8:10 AM... But can I mourn, knowing all along that this day would eventually come? The day where freedom, love, and career, are eradicated and destroyed, money becomes a myth once again as does such luxuries as sleep, personal life, or personal art. All for 'Education'. Can I mourn? Oh, but I do. Such sadness fills me, for education steals away the hearts of the strongest men, steals away their will and their dreams, makes little more than painted puppets of a system known to cause more pain and loss than career and success. I mourn. As I mourn for my dead grandmother, and for the sensibilities of early man. I mourn." - Falimortalis. ------------------------- "Don't you love those ads on TV for prescription drugs? First you see all these happy people dancing and running on the beach and serving each other Jell-O, when the announcer tells you how you've been living a lie and it's time to admit that you suffer from hair loss and that as a direct result of your hair loss, everyone hates you, including all the people in this commercial,who have hired the cast of Resivior Dogs to kill you. And then, as the happy people eat thier Jell-O and hug thier damn babies, we learn how we can get this incredible drug that will end all hair loss and give your pathetic excuse for an exsitence a shred of meaning once again. And at this point we see the happy people collecting seashells, discovering cures for cancer, single-handedly defeating entire professional basketball teams in a game of HORSE, etc. All to distract you as the announcer says, in as happy a way possible that, "Roxinabletricleminoxideltaclepikachumandrexamine may cause vomiting, impotence, spontanous combustion, diariaha so potent that the force of your farts will propel you across rooms, civil war, the cancellation of The Practice, your ass to collapse, any children that you may ever have to de-evolve into vicious baboons upon contact with the Earth's atmosphere, a career boost for Charlie Sheen, certain death for you and everyone you know, an ABBA reunion tour, and some mild headaches. If you are ever planning to come in contact with any other living creature ever again please do not take this product." And then the happy people, still giddy after saving the earth from the alien forces, all wave at you and the announcer reminds you that they'll never like you unless you have hair." - Wyvern. ------------------------- "Two houses on my street are having a war. One of them lives down on the corner of the street, the other lives next to my neighbor, Bob G. They are always dressed up in camouflage and are carrying guns around the street. Sometimes I see tanks and hummers driving down the street, and some days there's dead people lying on the side of the road. It's been a bloody battle, neither side is showing any signs of backing down. I think the war started when the Nelsons didn't invite the Smiths to their block party last spring and the following Monday Mr. Smith threw a grenade at the Nelson's son as he was getting off the school bus. He missed and just blew up the bus, but the Nelsons got the message. Ever since then the streets have been filled with the sound of gunfire. Both families have been calling in other family members/troops from all over the country. They've built large armies. The Reynolds (another family on my street) joined the war a few months back, but they were all killed when The Smiths burned their house down. Mr. Reynolds survived, but I ran him over a few days later when I tried to dodge a squirrel. I ended up hitting the squirrel anyway." ------------------------- "Below is a true story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson. This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd. He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank the bride's and groom's families for coming and to thank his new father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception. To thank everyone for coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone a special gift from just him. So he taped to the bottom of everyone's chair was a manila envelope including the wedding party. He said that was his gift to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes. Inside each manila envelope was a 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to trail them weeks prior to the wedding.) After he stood there and watched the people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and said "Fuck you," he turned to the bride and said "Fuck you," and then he turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said "I'm out of here." He had the marriage annulled first thing that Monday morning. While most of us would have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if nothing was wrong. His revenge: 1) Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and reception. 2) Letting everyone know exactly what did happen. 3) And best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front of all of their friends, their entire families i.e. their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews,etc. This guy has balls the size of church bells." - Washuu-Chan. ------------------------- "In the beginning, Man created God, and in the image of Man created He Him. And Man gave unto God a multitude of names, that he might be Lord over all the earth when it was suited to Man. And on the seven millionth day Man rested and leaned heavily upon his God and saw that it was good. And Man formed Aqualung of the dust of the ground, and a host of others likened unto his kind. And these lesser men Man did cast into the void. And some were burned; and some were put apart from their kind. And Man became the God that he had created and with his miracles did rule over all the earth. But as all these things did come to pass, the Spirit that did cause Man to create his God lived on within all men; even within Aqualung. And Man saw it not. But for Christ's sake he'd better start looking." - Jethro Tull. ------------------------- "This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch, the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us criminals. We exist without skin colour, without nationality, without religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs, you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals. Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like. My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never forgive me for. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're all alike." - The Mentor, "The Conscience of a Hacker" ------------------------- AIM and Fire: ------------------------- Eyeglazer: Heh. I had about four times the kills you did. DaveG 1000: ...oh really? Eyeglazer: Yep. :) DaveG 1000: <dryly> That's just because you couldn't keep your finger off the big red button. (Dave and I, after I nuked his ass at Starcraft. <evil laugh>) ------------------------- Eyeglazer: Murphy has been unkind to me lately. 'Tis only to be expected. DaveG 1000: Karma, man. Eyeglazer: Heh. What'd I do to deserve the punishment, eh? ;) DaveG 1000: Every StarCraft game you've ever played. (Dave and I again. Pretty self-explanatory. :) ------------------------- Eyeglazer: Hmph. I guess if they'd figured out what it meant, they'd've already crucified me for it. Neo Atma: True Eyeglazer: Either that or they're still trying to figure out what the hell to do about it. O_o Neo Atma: Maybe they're afraid if they say anything you'll turn them into frogs. :) (Atma and I, after I found out that my parents had removed my books on magic from my desk drawer) ------------------------- Bane Final: My girlfriend is bragging about her ethernet.... Katya Moon: Ouch. Bane Final: Goddammit. Katya Moon: LOL! John007Z: Bane, I have Ethernet. Bane Final: Yeah, but I don't have sex with you, CX. (Excerpt from chatroom) ------------------------- Slipgates: Are you gonna talk or am I gonna walk off without you getting to the point of why you're happy? Eyeglazer: Hmm...well now, let's see... Eyeglazer: Tell you what, do you play chess? Slipgates: Nope. Eyeglazer: <nods> Good. If you can beat me in a game, I'll tell you why I'm on a lunatic high. (Sadism) ------------------------- Neo DRX: What do YOU have for trade, eh? Eyeglazer: The promise that I will not do anything obscenely evil to you in my fic. <nods> Eyeglazer: Well? Neo DRX: ... Neo DRX: Agreed. O_O (X and I talking about Win2000. ;) ------------------------- Eyeglazer: Goodnight. If you see Kathy, don't tell her I got my system together again. :P I want to tell her myself. A Lonely Hill: Okay A Lonely Hill: Why, though? O_o Eyeglazer: Because it will disturb her mightily when I start screeching at her like I did at you when I finally got my last driver set up. ;) A Lonely Hill: .... A Lonely Hill: And you want to disturb the love of your life? O_o Eyeglazer: <adjusts tie> They don't call me the Evil One for nothing. ;) A Lonely Hill: ....Man, you really live up to your name. Eyeglazer: Think of it this way. I'm eviller to my friends than I am to my enemies. Imagine how much eviller I am to my lover. ;) A Lonely Hill: Was I the first one to call you that? I think so, but I can't remember. Eyeglazer: Yep. You were. And damn did I take it to heart. ;) A Lonely Hill: Damn. Why did I do that? O_o Eyeglazer: <evil voice> You created me, Gregory Cook..... ------------------------- Slipgates: it's trying to download components and never succeeding in getting them anyways Eyeglazer: Heh. Eyeglazer: Apply plastic explosives and heat until dead. Slipgates: you always know how to be disturbing, doincha? Eyeglazer: ....Slip! PKB, man! ;) ------------------------- Neo Atma Weapon: Haha yeah I know the feeling... Half the time I write shit, someone thinks I stole an idea or title from somewhere, but I didn't Eyeglazer: Happens to everyone; the chances of coming up with an idea that has never been used anywhere are virtually nil. Neo Atma Weapon: Pretty much yeah Neo Atma Weapon: For normal people, anyway. For AGFFers, the chance is much higher, as we have sick and demented minds to think up shit normal people wouldn't. Eyeglazer: This is true. ;) ------------------------- Eyeglazer: Evil evil evil...evil...evil...evil...evil.... John007Z: Why yes, I am. Why do you ask? Eyeglazer: Evil...evil... John007Z: Um... Did you forget your Prozac this morning or something? Eyeglazer: E...v...i...l..... John007Z: Yes, sir, excellent choice. Would you like your evil rare or medium well? Eyeglazer: Evil...evil... John007Z: I see. Well, now, we have an excellent selection of wines to go with your evil. Would you like red or white wine? I believe red goes best with rare evil. Eyeglazer: Evil... John007Z: And now for dessert. Care to order dessert in advance, sir? Eyeglazer: <nods> Evil. John007Z: All right then. We have a wonderful side order of evil pie over here.... Eyeglazer: How evil...? John007Z: Oh, extremely evil, sir. (pure derangement) ------------------------- Wisdom of the Regs: ------------------------- "One person will invent loneliness, two people will invent love, and three people will invent war." - Dave G. "AIM carefully so no one gets hurt." - Shirlene. "Everything a person experiences affects the thinking of that person. Some are affected to a greater degree than others. The logical extention of this is that we should all go to sensory deprevation tanks to live life as isolated as possible so as to not have our minds further polluted by stimulus." - Neal Wilson. "Then there's the concept of 'fun.' What is the ultimate goal in life? Who the hell knows? But it's almost universally known that it's better to have fun on the way to that goal than to worry about 'passing the game' your whole life. And what's more fun than taking the universe, saying 'bugger to you' and making a game out of it? It'll make, say, math homework, a hell of a lot easier to stomach." - Excerpt from Charon's AGFFU contribution. "There is no greater tragedy than a person who does not care." - Rubi. "It would be foolish to not take it, and foolish to take it. The difference is that one foolishness can be fixed later and the other cannot." - Slipgate. "But there will be a dawn eventually, and the next day will begin - hopefully, a day whose brightness helps soften the darkness of the previous night. But the dawn will certainly never come if you choose to inflict on yourself the night eternal that is death." - Saint Kain, on suicide. "Yet in nearly every case, there is somewhere to look for the path to the beam of sunlight that pierces the clouds hanging over a life of misery. And if we only think to look for that sunlight, sooner or later we'll find it." - Saint Kain. "Many paths are open to you; it's up to you which one to take and follow to the end." - Aeaen. (okay, so he never reached regdom, but there's no other place to put the quote. :) "I learned something the hard way over time...age has nothing to do with maturity." - X. "Parents suck, ignore them, and they'll go away." - Bane "Anyone who thinks they can completely understand love is a fucking idiot." - Atma "We travel through this life alone, down a winding path. From beginning to end, nothing is the same, yet at once everything is. Though we may travel only a short distance together on our seperate paths, I cherish every moment, and hope that the next turn finds us together once again." - James Anderson, Laughing Vigilante. "Present first, future second, past third." - Saint Kain. "I am free of the past more than I have been in many a year, my good man. And it is a feeling like no other. The past is a wonderful thing to draw upon for experience, for memories... for nostalgia, even, at times. But you cannot let it dominate the present. I have, for far too long. No more. No damned more." - Greg Cook. "I would salute an American flag with 13 stars, as it started, and as it was meant to be. I would burn an american (not capitalized on purpose, does not deserve the respect to be capitalized) flag with 50 stars." - Atma "God has a laissez-faire policy." - Tekhne "You evil little troll. ;-)" - Night Angel, regarding yours truly. ;) "Your evilness disturbs me more than you can imagine." - Jolene Lau, regarding the same. ;) "You're a scary person, man, you really are." - Dave G., ditto. ;) "Because.... if we consider the smallest extension of the base field containing all of the roots of the equation and consider the automorphisms on the extension leaving the base field fixed, then they form a group which is not solvable - that is, there does not exist a chain of normal subgroups for which the factor groups are abelian." - St. Kain, explaining why a general fifth degree equasion is unsolvable. ------------------------- Wisdom of the Games: ------------------------- "It's not the net result of one's life that is important. It's the day-to-day concerns, the personal victories, and the celebration of life...and love!" - Terra Branford, Final Fantasy VI "Justice is not the only right in this world. Someday, you will see.... - Klu Ya, Final Fantasy IV (U.S. version) "Evil in our minds will never disappear. We all have both evil and good in our mind, just as there are the crystals of Light and Darkness, the ground and underground. But as long as the evil exists, so does good. Just as you held good in your heart to fight evil." - Fu So Ya, Final Fantasy IV (U.S. version) "Ayla fight while still alive! Win and live, lose and die. Rule of life. No change rule." - Ayla, Chrono Trigger "Reality is a momentary dream, but a dream is reality for an eternity." - The Mistress, Nocturnal Illusion ------------------------- Wisdom of the World: ------------------------- "Work like you don't need money, Love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one is watching." - Unknown "I'd rather be in the cold and dark with my friends than the sun and flowers without them." - Unknown "How can you come to know yourself? Never by thinking, always by doing. Try to do your duty, and you'll know right away what you amount to. And what is your duty? Whatever the day calls for." - Johann Wolfgang von Goetha "What is the terror of death? That we die our work incomplete. What is the joy of life? To die knowing our task is done." - Unknown "If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call, who would you call and why are you waiting?" - Unknown "God! Why do people have to lose things to find out what they mean?" - Tommy, "Brigadoon." "Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness." - Chinese Proverb. "I would rather be ashes than dust. I would rather my spark burn out in a brilliant blaze than it be stifled in dry rot. I would rather be a superb meteor, every atom of my magnificent glow, than a sleepy and permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not just exist. I shall use my time." - Jack London "If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us." - Herman Hesse "Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side." - Francois de La Rochefoucauld "He who walks out of step, hears another drum." - (not sure) "The art of tact is making a point without making an enemy." - Unknown "Better to be deceived by a friend than to suspect a friend." - Unknown "Live today, die tomorrow. The world is a funny place, John, so enjoy it while you can." - Niora Bennett, to CX "The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't being said." - Unknown "Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go." - T.S. Eliot "He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the world as he who is ready to die." - Giacomo Leopardi "Education is very important. School, however, is another matter." - Unknown "You can only live once. But if you do it right, once is enough." - Unknown "Don't be afraid of showing your feelings; be afraid of regretting it when you don't." - Laura Springer "I found that sometimes, what you believe in becomes more real to you than all the things you can explain away or understand." - Tommy, "Brigadoon." "Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power." - Lao-Tzu "Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of one who knows how to combine them." - Nathaniel Hawthorne "The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us from the support of a cause we believe to be just." - Abraham Lincoln "Do and say what you want because the people who mind don't matter and the people who matter don't mind." - Anonymous "To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded." - Ralph Waldo Emerson ------------------------- People Complaining About Not Being In Sigs ------------------------- "You wanna know what my problem with large .sigs is? I'm not in any of them. And I've been here for almost four years, dammit!" - Rob Browning "I don't mind snipping your sig everytime I have to respond to you, but why the hell don't you have a quote from me in your sig yet? Why, dammit, why?!!?!" - Justin Sueno, Replacement Timo. ------------------------- Posts of the Week. ------------------------- Below lies the lists of those posts granted the Post of the Week award since its instatement during the week of April 18th, 1999. If you see your name here, add the award to your sig. :) ------------------------- Post of the Week. "Concerning Recent Departures." by Dave Gunslinger. Week of April 11th, 1999. ------------------------- ------------------------- Post of the Week. "It's Good to have a Friend Like Mine." by Technetium. Week of April 18th, 1999. ------------------------- ------------------------- Post of the Week. "CRAGFF Generalissimo GIGANTOR." by Thierry Nguyen. Week of April 25th, 1999. ------------------------- ------------------------- Post of the Week. "This is weird..." by Tekhne. Week of July 11th, 1999. ------------------------- ------------------------- Tales of Agff ------------------------- "Do not follow where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail." - Unknown "Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality." - Jules de Gaultier "It takes a thousand voices to tell a single story." - Indian Proverb "Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question. They had worked for months gathering one each of every computer that was built. Finally the big day was at hand. All the computers were linked together. They asked the question, "Is there a God?". Lights started blinking, flashing and blinking some more. Suddenly, there was a loud crash, and a bolt of lightning came down from the sky, struck the computers, and welded all the connections permanently together. 'There is now', came the reply." - Unknown "FUCK YOU TOO, MODEM!" - Atma ------------------------- The Final Quote: ------------------------- "Freedom does not exist as an external truth. It exists inside men, and those who wish to be free are free." - Paul Ernst

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