Michael Trigilio Starve Book (1996) Twenty-eight instructions

Starve #1
Have yourself and 99 of your closest friends stop eating. Do this until you have died.

Starve #2
Have yourself and 39,999 of the people you know stop eating. Do this until you die. Have the executor of your will select 40,000 more people to perform "Starve #2." Be assured that it will be performed every day.

Starve #3
Go to the bookstore and spend an hour trying to find a good cookbook.

Starve #4
Eat anything you want as much as possible until you are medically overweight. Then, only eat "diet" foods.

Starve #5
Go to a restaurant or cafe and ask for bottled water. Then complain that it is the wrong kind.

Starve #6
Go to the super-market and buy 100 loaves of bread at $.59 each. Then, bring them home and burn them.

Starve #7
Set your dinner table for five people. Prepare a three course meal that would feed at least seven people. Eat alone. Save enough for dinner the next night. Throw the rest away.

Starve #8
Ask a friend not to eat for 36 hours. At the end of this fast, invite him or her over for dinner. When they begin to fill their plate, shoot them. Make sure that they die.

Starve #9
Obtain $50 in cash. Then, go to a super-market and whine very loudly, "I'm hungry. I'm hungry."

Starve #10
Videotape as many commercials about food (restaurants, grocery stores, individual products) as will fit on a standard video cassette. Then stop eating. Continue to refrain from eating and watch the video tape until you feel sick. Turn off the video tape and continue not eating until you have died.

Starve #11
Walk into a "super-store" (Wall-Mart's, Sam's is appropriate) with a Polaroid camera and yell, "I am hungry! I am starving to death! I can't take it, it hurts so bad!" Take a picture of the first person who approaches you, hand the picture to that person, and calmly walk out.

Starve #12
Go to a movie theater and watch a movie. Sometime during the movie, lean over to the person you are closest to and ask, "Are you starving to death?"

Starve #13
Write a letter to the President of the United States saying that you are starving to death.
Put the letter in an envelope and apply a postage stamp. Then, eat the letter.

Starve #14
Look up the words "starve" and "hungry" in a thesaurus. Do not read them aloud. Be sure to never say any of the words out loud for as long as you are alive.

Starve #15
Fill a drinking glass with 8 ounces of water. Apply four drops of either black or blue ink to the water. Stop eating. Drink only the prepared water until you die.

Starve #16
Go to the super-market and buy 25 loaves of bread for $.59 each. Then hand them out to people on the street at random. Afterward go to an expensive restaurant and eat a meal. Do this twice every year.

Starve #17
Buy enough rice to last one year. Eat one bowl of rice every three days for one year. As you prepare the rice to eat, videotape the preparation. At the end of the year throw away the remaining rice. Stop eating. Watch the video-tape three times a day until you have died.

Starve #18
Write the word "starve" on a 10 pieces of paper. Write the word "eat" on 2 pieces of paper. Put the twelve papers in a shoe box. Every morning pull one paper out of the box and follow the instruction for that day. Do this until you die.

Starve #19
Say the word "food" very loudly. Then, never speak, write, or refer to the word "food" in any situation for the rest of your life.

Starve #20
Write the word "starve" on a 10 pieces of paper. Write the word "eat" on 2 pieces of paper. Put the twelve papers in a shoe box. Have a friend pull one paper out of the box every morning. As your friend reads the instruction from the piece of paper, have him or her video-tape your reaction to the instruction. Do this everyday for six months. At Christmas time send the video to your friends and family without explaining the premise of the video. Title it Starve #20— "starve/eat."

Starve #21
Anytime someone refers to people starving until they are dead say, "That is not true." Do not explain your answer.

Starve #22
Ask several friends to stop eating for two days. At the end of the fast invite them over for dinner. After preparing the food, spread the food on the floor. Tell your friends not to eat the food off of the floor. Then put all of the food in the garbage. Do not prepare anymore food.

Starve #23
Eat only "junk" food for the rest of your life.

Starve #24
Carry dollar bills with you whenever you eat at a restaurant. When you are served your food, tear up a few dollars into tiny pieces. Spread the small pieces over your food. Eat.

Starve #25
Whenever you eat, think the word "suffer."

Starve #26
Ask to cater a wedding reception. Using the money you were paid for this service, prepare food made out of the money. Boil and bake any denomination of paper money. Sauté coins and dollar bills. Mix minced personal checks with water and serve cold. Make small portions of rice and beans the only "edible" foods. Prepare enough of these to feed only half of the guests.

Starve #27
Cater an art exhibit opening reception in the same manner as "Starve #26."

Starve #28
Eat and then don't eat. (Repeat this as often as possible)